Note to Robber: Learn How to Use Mask

Welcome back folks, to my recurring posts on helpful suggestions for criminals to ge through their exploits.

A still from a surveillance camera of a robber who couldn't get his act together

I’m going to revisit masks, which are key in preventing our stupid criminals from being identified by all those awful security cameras out there.

I talked about this back in January, when a Vermont bank robber, on the coldest day of the year, on the day it made the most sense to wear a ski mask, robbed the bank without said mask.

Pretty dumb, and he was arrested quickly.

Now we have a robber who could use some tips on dressing for a crime. The key is to put on your ski mask before the robbery, not during it. And be sure to use a mask that’s easy to put on and take off.

Struggling with a mask really interferes with the robbery, as this hilarious security cam video shows:

As you can see, our robber’s lack of preparedness makes it awfully easy for people to identify him.  Though so far, he hasn’t been caught.

By the way, the guy having trouble with the mask needs other help. According to media reports, he demanded money from the cash register, but the clerk said he couldn’t open it.

The clerk invited the robber to try opening the cash drawer himself, but he couldn’t do it. I think the clerk locked it and hid the key. The robber left the store empty handed. Except for the ski mask he couldn’t put  on.

Logic clearly wasn’t working here. Think about it, dear robber: The clerk says he can’t open the cash register. Then how does he make change for all  his non-robber customers?

Does the clerk demand exact change from the customers? If so where does he put the money.

Robber, I hate to think ill of people, but I think the clerk lied to you. How rude!

Anyway, better luck next time. Or, more likely, good luck in the slammer

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