Worst Criminal Driver of the Week

In my ongoing quest to find the world’s most annoying and dumb criminals, I give you this guy’s encounter with an Oregon convenience store.

The mess left in a store after Zacharias Serrano allegedly drove this van into an Oregon convenience store. Photo from KOMONews.com

Watch this driver, drunk, naturally, as he crashes into the store. It’s not your standard issue drive into the building and stop video. Oh no, it’s worse than that.  Much worse. More news and commentary on this below the video:

According to KPTV News in Oregon, the van’s driver, after trashing the store, said there was a bomb in the van and tried to carjack a woman out in the parking lot.

Police arrived before he could get away with the woman’s car. There was no bomb. Authorities charged Zacharias Serrano, 33, of Lakewood, Wash with numerous offenses, second degree kidnapping, assault, first degree robbery, DUI, and being a jerk and a moron.

OK, I made the jerk and moron charge up, but if I ruled the world, that would be a crime.

Nobody was hurt, thank goodness. There’s no word on why our friend Zach went ballistic like this. Looked like he was having fun, but is that really the way we should entertain ourselves? Could he just play Grand Theft Auto on his home computer?

For punishment, I would sentence Zach to a lifetime of stocking and restocking convenience store shelves. I’d just hire somebody to knock all the items off the shelves, make him put them back up, and repeat the cycle.

Kind of like Sisyphus and the rock he rolled uphill. At least Zach would stay out of trouble this way.

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One Response to “Worst Criminal Driver of the Week”

  1. Andrea Homer Says:

    First of all, this idiot whomever it is doesn’t even know what it’s talking about. The guy in this situation happens to be one of the best persons I’ve ever met, and probably ever will. Everybody makes mistakes, and us that do realize that and move on. No one is perfect, and some of us don’t get a thrill off of putting others down, we may make a mistake and learn from it and move on.

    Get a life those who want and try to project their feelings and inadequacies off on others.

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