Quitting Day Job To Sing BAAAD Idea

I found a couple celebrities moonlighting. Well, the word “celebrity” is a bit much for one of them. I’ll explain.

See, even stars want to be stars. Just different stars than they already are.

Exhibit one, according to the JoeMyGod blog, is ice skater extraordinaire Johnnie Weir who has a #1 hit on the pop charts in Japan.

Figure skater Johnny Weir promotes his song “Dirty Love”

And, more obscurely, a porn star famous in gay circles also has a hilariously bad song.

First, let’s warm up by going to the more reasonable song. It’s Johnny Weir singing a tune called “Dirty Love.” It’s hard to say whether Weir has any singing talent because he seems pretty Auto Tuned in the song track.

But to me, it’s a standard issue pop song, nothing special. It has shades of the Pet Shop Boys, just not as good. Give Johnny credit for putting this out there, because he put some effort into it.

Still, I hope he sticks to his day job as a great figure skater. He’s not a singer. Although I have to admit  I usually guess wrong about what will become popular. After all, years ago, I said Madonna was just a flash in the pan. So maybe Johnny Weir will be bigger than Madonna in the pop singing realm.

Here’s an amateur video of Johnny, on skates performing the song, so you can judge for yourself.

Next, we go on to some unintentional hilarity from a gentleman named Zeb Atlas.

Zeb, a big muscleman, is apparently an icon in gay porn circles. There’s lots of naked pictures of him out there in Internet land, showing off his, um, assets. And he sure is impressive, if you’re into that kind of thing.

A rare non-X-rated photo of porn star Zeb Atlas. Also fancies himself a singer, but....

Hmm. Why do I suspect “Zeb Atlas” is just a stage name. Whatever.

By the way, the hyperlink I just gave you for Zeb goes to a Wikipedia page, and not Zeb’s official Web site. His home page has some….scenery….that’s definitely NSFW.

Zeb has come out with a song video proving that porn actors should keep their mouths shut unless they are…..well….. never mind.

Anyway, he’s chose to remake the song “Love Hangover,” first done by Diana Ross in 1976.

Zeb’s version is, um, remarkable.

Click on this sentence to watch for yourself, if you dare

I love the facial expressions: The crooked mouth, the wincing, the attempts at bedroom eyes that look as if somebody sprayed him with cayenne pepper.  Looks painful. Painful like listening to him.

True, the people who put this video out say Zeb is no singer, they just wanted to provide people an excuse for some PG rated eye candy. Maybe porn stars are better seen and not heard.

Maybe he would do better with a little training. You know, lose the porn star moves, look like a real person.

Or, Zeb will just go back to making porn. He’s already got a big fan base there, apparently, so why mess with success?

Zeb, don’t feel bad if you’re not such a great singer. Compared to me, you sound like Sinatra. Plus, my biceps aren’t nearly the size of yours, so you have that on me, too.

Also, please don’t squash me like a grape with those biceps, either. Thanks.

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