Not All Powder is Cocaine, Folks

In more disheartening news, a few losers in Florida were arrested for breaking into a house and stealing a bunch of stuff.

Some people snort cocaine, some people snort cremains. Yuck.

Burglaries happen all the time. but according to television station WOFL in Orlando, they stole the cremated remains of a man and two dogs. They snorted the ashes, thinking it was cocaine.

OK guys, did you really think it was cocaine or heroin? Every powder is drugs?

Do you snort sugar? Pancake mix? The dust bunnies in the corners of your house? Thank God you did your deed in Florida and not Vermont. There’s almost a foot of snow on the ground here.  A foot of powder. Try snorting all that white stuff up, guys.

You’d drown snorting up all the snow. Which would probably be a good thing. On the plus side, I could hire you to snort up all the snow on my driveway after every storm, which would save me the time and the backache left over from me shoveling the snow myself.

Guys, did you get high off the ashes of this poor guy?  What’s the high like? Are you going to break into crematoriums to do more?

Well, actually, you’re evidently in jail now. Hope you find some powder to snort there. Couldn’t happen to better people.

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