Grinding Away

In today’s Burlington Free Press, I wrote about the Great Grinding South Burlington Crisis of 2011.

A group grind: Good clean fun or sex run amok?

The high school’s Winter Ball has been cancelled because the school has banned grinding. Grinding, for the uninitiated, is the way a lot of people dance nowadays. The couple usually face in the same direction, and kind of simulate sex. 

Depending upon how into it the couple is, grinding can range from good clean fun to something that looks like a really pathetic porn film.

I had to laugh as I was reporting the story. The student council president, 17 years old and knowing I am an old fart, began patiently explaining to me what grinding was. But I’m not that much of an out of touch corpse. I know damn well what grinding is. I know this is TMI, but I’ve done it on more than one occasion. Thankfully, I don’t believe there are any videos of me grinding, which I’m sure is a comfort to all of the world’s  citizenry.

Doing some rather chaste grinding  among adults in a Montreal nightclub, as I’ve done,  is admittably less problematic than a room full of horny high school students grinding.  But then, teenagers have the right to dance. I feel the students’ pain for being denied the pleasure of grinding, but I also feel South Burlington High School Principal Patrick Burke’s pain in wanting to head off trouble, and keep his school a safe place for everybody, and thereby banning grinding.

 The students themselves said grinding can be taken too far, and anyone who gets too enthusiatic needs to be stopped.  I’m not going to offer a solution. For once, I don’t have a strong opinion either way on this critical issue,  but I hope the school works out the grinding question, as it does seem to be one of the major crises of the day.

To grind or not to grind, that is the question. Maybe that would spice up the high school seniors’ Shakespeare class.

It’s funny how history repeats itself. The South Burlington High School principal acknowledged this is similar to previous generations, like when they banned slow dancing and Elvis Presley. I wonder, is grinding another step to the the basement of depravity like some people think, or just another harmless dance fad?

Thankfully, the kids who are grinding now will grow up, and their kids will find grinding to be the definition of uncool. Like knowing how to do the 1970s disco dance, The Hustle.

Still, I’m struck by how established grinding has become. YouTube is filled with instructional videos on  how to do it, which is surprising, since any person with hips can do it with no problem. The Web is also filled with grinders who fail at it, get waayyyy to into it, or are horrified by it.

Me, I’ll just let the fad pass. The next time I go clubbing in Montreal, chances are nobody will be grinding anymore. We’ll move on to the next Big Thing in nightclub showmanship.

Anybody got any ideas on what that might be? Let us know.

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One Response to “Grinding Away”

  1. Sheliah Says:

    You made me LOL

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