Doing the Bristol Stomp

Only in America can a celebrity dance contest turn into a morasse of intrigue, lowbrow comedy and drama.

But there we have it. As has been drummed into your head by 7,456,702,467,231 news accounts in the past two days, Bristol Palin is still in Dancing With the Stars despite her less than, um, stellar dancing.

Bristol Palin works her magic on Dancing With the Stars

The much more talented Brandy, the R&B singer got kicked off instead.

The public votes on which celebrity dancers to keep on the show. Bristol Palin, the daughter of proud mama grizzly Sarah Palin, has been getting lots of votes from Tea Party backers, who are not content to just get their favorite Obama hating, really, really anti-socialist Congresspeople elected. They also want to make sure darling Bristol wins. Keeps the Palin brand alive, doncha see?

Of course, there’s that scandal that’s erupted, thanks to reporting on the Jezebel Web site.

Jezebel says that Tea Party/Palin patrons have figured out a way to rig the system so that people can vote dozens or hundreds of times for Bristol.  It appears you do not need a valid e-mail address to vote on DWTS. So you can come up with a zillion bogus email addresses and vote, and vote, and vote…….

I wondered why anybody in their right mind would spend hours of their time repeatedly voting for a star who is not a star dancing on a show called Dancing With The Stars. I mean, talk about living in the “Get A Life” department.

Well, we get an explanation from the people repeatedly voting, according to Jezebel. Tea Party advocates believe there was massive voting fraud in the 2008 presidential election, and that’s why Barack Obama is president.

Never mind that no real evidence of widespread fraud surfaced. Anyway, I guess the logic goes if they rig the system and Bristol Palin wins DWTS, that will show Obama who’s boss.

Really. So they’re hoping if Bristol wins, Obama will resign the presidency in shame.

Would Obama say: “Well, Bristol’s a better dancer so her mother Sarah should be president, you betcha.” 

God Bless America.

 A lot of people are upset about this whole Bristol Palin scandal. Hell, I’m irritated. But not as irritated as the guy in Wisconsin who shot his TV, threatened his wife with a gun and caused an overnight standoff with a SWAT team because he didn’t think Bristol was a very good dancer on DWTS, according to the Milwaukee, Wisconsin Journal Sentinel.

Steve Cowan of Wisconsin shot his TV because he couldn't bear Bristol Palin's dancing

According to reporting by Sharif Durhams and Ryan Haggery, two of the Journal Sentinel’s reporters, the man Steven Cowan, 67, did the following:

“Cowan tracked down a single-shot shotgun in the house, he “slapped” shells down onto a TV tray, loaded a round and took out the TV, the complaint says.

Cowan’s face was bright red. He loaded the gun again. His wife put a blanket over her head, thinking that if her husband decided to shoot at her, she didn’t want to see it, the complaint says.”

I don’t know. I think maybe Cowan overreacted just a little bit don’t you?

In any event, rest assured the Great Bristol Dancing/Voting Scandal of 2010 is not over yet.  Will Bristol be disqualified? Will anybody else shoot their TVs? Will the Republic collapse in a heap if Bristol wins?” Or doesn’t win? Can you dance better than Bristol? Can Sarah dance better than Bristol? Can Sarah dance around the truth better than Bristol?

I’ll keep a watchful eye on this developing situation, as I know you want every detail as soon as it happens.

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