Here She Comes, Miss Mafia

I don’t go for beauty pageants. All those artificially chest-enhanced poufy hair women with wayyy overdone makeup. Their faces read like a ski report, for gawd’s sake: Six inches of base and four inches of powder.

Miss Mafia might look like this, but I think the actual contestants were probably a little sluttier?

But I’ll make an exception to my beauty pageant hostility to the one and only Miss Mafia pageant. Semi-finals were recently held in Hungary.

Contestants must have Mob ties or must have been convicted of a crime that earned them time behind bars. Potential contestants must submit mug shots to contest organizers.

I’m sure the pageant would be much more fun than say, Miss America. Who would be Miss Congeniality? Probably the woman that smirks the word “sorry” before blowing away the overall winner with her AK-47.

The swimsuit section of the competition probably features.

Watching Miss Mafia would mean we would never have to listen to some puff speech with contestants saying their hobby is promoting world piece. One contestant at this Miss Mafia contest said. “My hobby is collecting property leases from losers.”

I’m sure the Miss Mafia speech was much more entertaining than anything Miss America has ever done.

The winner of the Hungary semi finals, who hasn’t been identified, doesn’t get the glamour of say, the Miss American winner. The top Miss Mafia wins a car and an apartment in Budapest.

Budapest? I suppose that’s better than Minsk, Barrow, Alaska or Barton, Vermont, but still.

The winner also moves on to the Miss Mafia Universe competition in Japan.

Special thanks to Jeff for alerting me to this important Miss Mafia news development.

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One Response to “Here She Comes, Miss Mafia”

  1. auntbethany Says:

    If there’s a Miss Mafia competition, I want Marlon Brando, James Caan, and Al Pacino to be judges.

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