Archive for November, 2010

Train Wrecks of November

November 30, 2010

Everybody loves a train wreck. Admit it. You do, too.

So I offer you the following video, which gives you more than seven minutes of  worldwide mishaps that either happened or became public in November.

The first incident in the video is even sort of a train wreck. Note that almost all the disasters in the video are the fault of the victims. Enjoy!

April 11, 1954. (Yawn)

November 30, 2010

There are some days I wish it were April 11, 1854. According to computer programmer William Tunstall-Pedoe, that was the most boring day of the 20 century.

This was probably a common scene, especially in newsrooms, on April 11, 1954

The only notable, newsworthy things that happened that day was some Turkish scientist was born, a footballer died and a dull general election was held in Belgium. A real snoozer.

The way the bad news keeps coming – the continued war in Afghanistan, the wretched economy, the political gridlock in Washington, the existence of the television show “Skating With The Stars” – all make me wish for a yawner of a day like April 11, 1954.

Any readers out there remember anything that happened on April 11, 1954? Maybe for some people it wasn’t so dull.

One Tough Mother, Indeed.

November 29, 2010

Remember Gert Boyle? She was the CEO and chief ad spokeswoman for Columbia Sportswear.

Former Columbia Sportswear CEO and pitchwoman Gert Boyle

The ads depicted her as “One Tough Mother,” the demanding boss who made sure that Columbia outdoor wear met her standards. The pitches had her victimizing her son Tim (now the CEO) in the name of testing her products.

You might remember this commercial:

It was an ad gimmick, but maybe not as much of a gimmick as you’d think. According to the Daily Beast, Boyle, now 86, was returning home one day recently when a robber confronted her and ordered her inside her house.

She told the robber she had to turn off the house alarm first, but what she really did was hit a silent panic button. 

(Note to robbers:  The former CEO of a company is probably a lot smarter than you. Don’t be surprised if he or she outwits you, you dummies)

The cops showed up while the robber was in the process of stealing from Boyle. The robber escaped, but was later caught. Boyle was unharmed and unfazed. She went back to work two days later.

So, if you’re planning on committing a crime against somebody who portrays him or herself as tough, but think they are a softie, think again.

The only really rough moment in the whole incident came when an officer came back to the house later to see if Boyle was OK. The unfortunate cop was wearing a North Face parka, one of Columbia’s competitors.

According to the Daily Beast, Boyle told the cop: “I was fine until that jacket walked in here.”

Tattoo You

November 29, 2010

No Comment.

For the longest time, I wanted to get a tattoo. But I couldn’t figure out what I wanted or where to put it so I eventually gave up.

Let's play checkers!

That’s probably a good thing. As you can see by the pics I posted, some people made some very bad tattoo choices.

Face tattoos rarely work anyway.

You can see more bad tattoos (or get some ideas, if you’re so inclined)  here and here.

A numbers game, or scientific equations?

Perfect for Halloween!

Animal Wars!

November 28, 2010

The following video has gone super viral, so forgive me if you’ve already seen it.

A screen grab from the cat/crow fight video

If not, it’s such fun. A random video of two cats and two crows all in an ornery, fighting mood. The best part of the vid is the person who posted it set it to action-thriller movie music.  Watch:

Music Torture Sunday

November 28, 2010

It’s time for that irregular feature of this blog: Music Torture!

I’m a connisseur of pop music and videos that are so awful, so over-the-top that you can’t help but laugh. Luckily, there is an endless supply. I hope some of you have as weird a sense of humor as I do, as I take you to…

Air Supply. Still touring! Get yer tickets!

Air Supply!!!  Its’ hard to beat the song “Making Love Out of Nothing At All” The histrionics! The over-produced vocals! the screaming of the lead singer!  The dumb blonde in the video who can’t make up her mind and can’t pack a suitcase to save her life! How the hell did she get through airport security? Watch, if you dare: (Note when vid pops up, you have to click on “Watch it on YouTube” Don’t know why they make you jump through that stupid hoop)

Phew! That was something! Don’t know what, but it was something.

We shouldn’t limit ourselves to Golden Oldies. There’s a hit song now that everybody seems to love. It’s right at the top of the charts: “Like a G6,” by some outfit called Far East Movement.

The band Far East Movement, shown here getting slizzard, or something.

I’ll paint myself as totally uncool here, but the female singer (who is a guest star, apparently, not part of the band)  is so auto-tuned and computer programmed that she sounds like she’s getting nauseated while inspecting the inside of a large, methane-steeped, failing culvert pipe.

The guy in the band keeps rapping about the “sober girls around me, they be acting like they dru-u-u-u-unk.”

No, dude. The sober girls around you are fleeing you in panic, and all that commotion just makes them appear drunk.

Here’s the video, if you can stand it: (Note: Same dumb deal, click on  “Watch it on YouTube to see it.)

Notice in the video, the lead female singer does a bunch of shots in a restaurant, then drives to the liquor store for more booze.

Where’s a cop when you need one?

And what’s with all the sunglasses that make the band members look cartoon insects?

Also, check out these lyrics:

“Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6″

They couldn’t come up with a word that rhymed with “blizzard” so they invented a word, “slizzard?”

I’m guessing “slizzard” means a sleazy blizzard, but what do I know?

They’re sipping sizzurp?  Does that mean a sizable burp? Or a fizzy burp? I’m not sure.   Or are they just too drunk to use real words?

I’m so confused. I have a headache. I need a drink. So I, too, can fly like a G6, which, by the way, refers to a Gulfstream G650, eight passenger luxury jet.

Which I’m going to take to get as far away as Far East Movement as I can.

I Don’t Blame Santa. (hic!)

November 28, 2010

I don’t know if this video, supposedly from a security camera is real or set up by somebody, but it’s still entertaining.

After a long day of dealing with demanding, snotty-nosed kids, I don’t blame Santa for indulging:

Dying to Shop

November 27, 2010

The main reason the Christmas season nauseates me is the yearly stories we get of shoppers trampling, stealing from and even killing each other so they can get a wide screen TV or something.

A comparatively tame moment in the Black Friday stampede at a North Buffalo, N.Y. Target store.

Chances are the recipients of these dirty gifts won’t even like them, but that’s besides the point.

I’ve never seen something as disgusting as the following video, from television station WKBW in Buffalo, N.Y. It shows the  4 a.m. opening of a Target store in North Buffalo. Commentary to follow:

Notice several things in the video: The jam up and trampling at the door appears to have started when a woman was pushed and fell. Notice the people who seem annoyed with her for “causing” the problem.

See how nobody really stopped to help, except for store personnel and police who were already in the store.

Notice the large guy who was obviously in pain from the incident. But he eventually went shopping anyway. And see how some of the people cheering, despite the near-tragedy. WKBW reports that luckily there were no serious injuries.

Better than two years ago,  I suppose, when somebody was trampled to death at a Long Island Walmart.

I wonder if any of the people who might have seen themselves in the video are ashamed of themselves. Somehow, I doubt it, as long as they got their bargain.

So, this is the Christmas spirit. Kill your fellow man to get 50 deals on clothes at Target. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward man. Yeah, right.

And who in their right mind gets up at 4 a.m. Friday to shop, when there will certainly be decent deals, say at, 1 p.m. Tuesday?

It goes on and on. A Marine in Georgia who was collecting donations for Toys for Tots was stabbed in front of a store because the stabber, Tracey Atteway, 39,objected to the Marine stopping him for trying to steal a laptop.

And we have this holiday season’s mother of the year, Lanessa Lattemore, who, police said, cut in a long line at a Madison, Wisconsin Toys R Us and threatened to shoot people who objected.

Say what you want about our lady friend Lanessa, but she certainly has been yacking it up with the media. She told CNN after the inconvenience of her arrest. “I just wanted to get my daughter a toy she wants for Christmas. It probably won’t be there when I go back today.”

I’m sure I will join a mourning nation in crying myself to sleep tonight over Lanessa’s misfortune at not being able to buy a cheap plastic toy.

Such lovely “holiday” scenes. Merry friggin’ Christmas.

Snow Bomb

November 27, 2010

Yesterday, I told Jeff we’ve been lucky we haven’t had too much winter weather yet, and the roads have been pretty good. I said the other shoe would drop at any moment.

A plow truck on my road today, trying to clear snow and ice.

It dropped today –along with an inch of snow in 20 minutes. It was just the typical winter annoyance, but the first few are particularly trying. My road, a steep hill, froze over, and cars either crawled down the hill or lurched into the ditches,

It’s over now, with just a few flurries left. A few glimpses of sun are visible, and I suppose the landscape is brighter now that it’s dusted with white.

After one heavy snow squall just before noon today, another snow squall approaches my house.

But now I should go out and shovel some of the driveway so it doesn’t turn into a skating rink.

Video at the bottom of the post is one I took of the second of two snow squalls moving in and obscuring the landscape around my St. Albans, Vermont house.

Is it too early to be sick of winter? Probably. But eventually, the snowshoes will come out.

A Dog’s Ho Ho Hum

November 27, 2010

Brutus, a big English mastiff dog, was out among the hordes of shoppers on Burlington, Vermont’s Church Street Marketplace.

Brutus, the English mastiff I met on Burlington, Vermont's Church Street Marketplace, already looks weary from holiday shopping.

Resplendant in a red holiday coat, Brutus looked a little bored with the holiday hubub on Black Friday, but he took it all in as patiently as possible, all 175 pounds of him.

Brutus’ companion, Roy Haines of Huntington, Vermont, said Brutus almost had a tragic end recently. He’d been well cared for over his seven year life until recently, when his owner went into a nursing home and could no longer look after Brutus.

Brutus the English mastiff greets shoppers on Burlington, Vermont's Church Street Marketplace Friday.

He was almost euthanized for want of adoption, Haines said, but a group called Save Our Strays went to bat for Brutus. They helped Haines adopt Brutus about six weeks ago.  After a period of adjustment, the dog seems to be settling in just fine, Haines said.

(Brutus is still on Save Our Strays Web site as needing adoption, but it looks like there hasn’t been an update recently)

In any event, if you are interested in getting a pet, or helping others, consider adopting a pet from a reputable organization (Humane Society works great, too) or donate. Would be a nice Christmas gift to the furry ones out there.

As Brutus demonstrates with his holiday finery, it’s the Christmas shopping season. He tells me to scratch giving a pet off your Christmas gift list, unless you are absolutely, positively sure the recipient wants it and will take good care of the animal.