What’s The Situation?

Yeah, yeah, I know that yesterday I complained about really moronic celebrities dominating the news, and the discussion today is: A really moronic celebrity.

So I’m a hypocrite, sue me.

The Situation meets a new friend at the beach.

Here’s The Situation. Yes, The Situation, the goofball from “The Jersey Shore,” he of the six pack abs and the IQ of Six.

He’s as dumb as a post, or at least that’s the image he’s trying to project. And he’s cocky. A deadly combination. It’s also a combination that will reportedly net him $5 million in income this year.

The lesson: You won’t get rich, famous, or be celebrated unless you look good, at least to some people, and live a life like that of a constant dumb blonde joke.

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.  I need to copy The Situation. I’ll change my name to The Circumstance or The Incident, or The Happenstance.

I’ll do ab crunches until I puke. I’ll pretend not to know the difference between Abraham Lincoln and Linkin Park. I’ll make sure the cameras are rolling while I get drunk and start a fight at some dive  bar in New Jersey. I’ll trip over my own feet on “Dancing With the Stars,” like The Situation did last night.

Nah, let’s face it. I can’t hack that. I’d rather be broke and anonymous, thanks.  The Situation is probably actually more intelligent than Steven Hawking; he’s just acting dumb because that’s where the money is.

I’m a lousy actor, so I’ll generously give The Situation all is, um, glory.

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