Media: All Lohan All The Time

As a guy who works in the Main Stream Media, I am as perplexed as anybody why Lindsay Lohan and her train wreck of a life  is the most important thing that has happened to the world in living memory.

Lohan: Most important news item in world history?

It seems that way, if you add up the ink and on-air time devoted to the blonde druggie.

I know I’m now feeding into this stupid Lohan frenzy by writing about it here,  but can somebody explain the appeal of this so called news story? Every time she ingests some sort of drug, or gets arrested, or makes a court appearance, the world is supposed to stop and watch as  if World War III has broken out.

This morning was the last straw for me. The Today Show had a breathless update on Lohan’s latest failed drug test, and they practically devoted half the show to this critical update.

Frankly, I had much more important things to worry about. For instance, I was having trouble deciding which breakfast cereal I wanted to eat.

Didn’t anything else happen over the weekend? I did see brief references to the upcoming November election, Afghanistan and Hurricane Igor, but all those news items seemed to be an afterthought.

Is there something critical that will happen if Lohan goes to jail again? The economy will crater if she violates bail conditions? Suicide bombers in Afghanistan will blow up more buildings is Lohan takes more drugs? President Obama will be impeached if Lohan cries in court again?

It’s fine to have some entertainment and fluff in newscasts. I couldn’t sit through an hour long analysis of gross national product versus global trade imbalances without taking as many drugs as Lohan apparently does. You need a little relief.

But please, please, please I beg you, fellow Main Stream Media colleagues. Enough with Lohan already. It’s not interesting. It’s not important. It’s boring. If you want to give us a train wreck, maybe an Amtrak train went in a ditch somewhere?

I get it that Lohan won’t shut up, and Tweets her every mishap. But do we have to broadcast what she says? We in the media ignore almost every other drug addict who shouts from the rooftops. Can’t we do the same with Lohan?

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