Me Vs. Another Rock

“What all dat noise, da banging, da grunting, da swearing,?” asked Darlusz Zabagaiski, the Polish frog that lives here with us.

Darlusz the frog looks doubtfully at the rock I was going to try to break apart with a sledgehammer

He was referring to the rock I was unsuccessfully trying to break up. A bit of a rock protruded from the lawn, always driving me nuts when I tried to mow around it.

I thought it would be a simple matter to dig up the rock and get rid of it once and for all.

Yeah, right.

“Dat rock too heavy to lift out of dat hole it in,? Darlusz asked, but he realized immediately the answer was obvious. I didn’t have to say I would have lifted it out by now if it were light enough.

It was much bigger than I’d thought when it seemed to wiggle when I shoveled around it.

Darlusz emerges from hiding after I tried to break up the rock to find I've only shaved a few little pieces off of it.

So I decided to take sledgehammer to it. I didn’t know some rocks were harder than diamonds.

“You mess up you back you keep doing dat,” Darlusz said as I swung the sledghammer wildly to break up the rock.

Darlusz fled to behind the shed as tiny bits of shrapnel flew from the rock as I hit it. “You stop! You make da yard like da war zone. I no like bulllets,!” Darlusz yelled from a low spot behind the shed where he was cowering.

“I’m not going to let this rock defeat me,” I yelled back.

I needed a break. I was panting. “Darlusz, you can come out. I’m taking a break, you’ll be safe now,” I said.

He came out and looked at the damage. A few small chunks of the rock had indeed come loose. There was dust everywhere, and tiny fragments of rocks all over the yard, and even on the shed roof.

I gave up for the day. Maybe I’ll try again today. Maybe if I keep trying the rock will soon be small enough to lift out the hole, and I can have that section of lawn back again.

“Why you no give up. Just leave da rock. Just plant da kwiaty around da rock and be don wit it,” Darlusz said.

Kwiaty? Oh, that’s the Polish word for flowers. It took me a minute to figure that out.

I could plant flowers,  but I refuse to be defeated by a rock. It must die. Stay tuned….

One Response to “Me Vs. Another Rock”

  1. gary rith Says:

    DZ, try explosives!

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