Weeding Out Bad Vermont Romances

Today, I salute the ingenuity of Vermont’s farmers with a tale out of the lovely little town of Tunbridge.

Could this weed signal the start of a beautiful new romance?

You’ve heard of speed dating, right? Where people gather in a bar and take turns talking for just a few minutes to see if the pairings are worth subsequent dates.

Now, according to a must-read in Vermont’s Burlington Free Press, weed dating has made its debut.

It works the same as speed dating, but instead, prospective romantic partners spend seven minutes weeding a vegetable patch while simultaneously getting to know each other.

This works for the farmer who gets $10 or $15 per speed dater and gets free work out of people, too.

Farming isn’t a very lucrative business, so you’ve got to save labor costs wherever you can, right?

Weed dating would seem to work for the participants, too. Instead of squinting in a dark bar, trying to hear conversation while Nickelback groans its songs in the background, you’re out in a bright open field, with only the birds as background noise.

Maybe you can judge a person from his or her weeding techniques. “The way he pulls those dandelions, I can tell he’s just not good in bed. NEXT!”

The weeding also can help determine how the person would be around the house. Does she weed enthusiastically or half-heartedlyf? That could tell how neat the household would be, if a pairing leads to a couple living together.

Does he put the pulled weeds in a nice little pile, or scatter them willy-nilly? That could be an indication of whether he leaves his dirty clothes scattered all over the house.

So I hope this weed dating idea takes off. Done right, it can keep Vermont farms in business, lower the divorce rate, and make every garden in the state pristine and

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