Burlington, Vt. Has A Cow

It’s bad enough Vermont’s dairy farms are suffering and going out of business because of low milk prices.

One of the Burlington art cows. Some have been damaged by vandals

Now, fake cows in Burlington, Vermont are under siege, too.

A community art project this summer led to 37 brightly painted fiberglass cows scattered around Burlington’s Church Street Marketplace.

The cows have proven irresistable to “cow-tippers,” presumably drunken kids who knock them over for fun and giggles.

The city is fighting back, of course, with a few arrests, a posse on the look out for the cow tippers. Even karma has helped. One bonehead who knocked over a cow ended up having the thing land on his foot. Said bonehead’s foot bones are now broken because of that happy little incident.

I’m all for art, but this vandalism spree points to the need for more exciting art. Yes, the cows are nice to look at, but think about how great this project would have been had they been rigged to do fun things when tampered with.

I mean, wouldn’t it have been more fun if Mr. Broken Foot who tried to knock over the cow got sprayed by gold glitter and pastel paints blowing out of the cow’s mouth?

Or, what if computers inside the cows were rigged to scan the image of the vandal, dig up all the dirt on the little scoundrel and post a video of the guy’s most stupid moments on YouTube?

The possibilities are endless. Artists: Get your thinking caps on and your creative juices flowing. You can turn a placid small town art project like Burlington’s into something that will REALLY get the art critics’ attention!

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