Your Immorality Kills Animals

We’re used to the religious fundamentalists telling us that our immorality, i.e, abortion right laws, sexual freedom, divorce, gay rights, etc., causes disasters like the 911 terrorist attack and Hurricane Katrina.

These penguins, at least, seem to have survived the wrath of God.

Makes sense right?

R-i-i-g-h-t.

Did you know such immorality is causing terrible harm to animals? It’s true, if you listen to some of these extreme Bible thumpers.

The latest example. A bunch of dead penguins washed ashore in Brazil. That’s terribly sad, especially since penguins are just about my favorite animal.

Do you know why they died? Well, of course! Argentina recently approved gay marriage. So Almighty God went to Brazil or somewhere to kill penguins to exact revenge on Argentina.

I don’t mean to question God, but I’m not sure  if that’s the most effective way for him to communicate his displeasure towards us. Shouldn’t he have done something more direct?  I don’t know if most people will draw the connection between gay marriage in Argentina and dead penguins in Brazil.

God maybe could have gone the traditional route by unleashing swarms of locusts on Buenos Aries. That would have made better video for the cable news networks, too. Honestly, God could really use a better publicist.

Or, if God thought the United States was somehow influencing this, he could have turned Tropical Depression Bonnie into the worst hurricane the world has ever seen. Instead, weak and disorganized Bonnie is limping ashore with little fanfare today on the Gulf Coast.

But maybe we in Vermont should take this seriously. Today, Burlington is holding its annual Gay Pride event. There will be a parade, celebrations, and dancing tonight at Higher Ground, all to boost the local gay community. A good time will surely be had by all.

Until the dead animals start showing up. If the fundamentalists are right, God will unleash death on Vermont animals, or those in neighboring states, because of Burlington’s Gay Pride event.

Can I put in an order for which creatures should die because of this? I suggest deer flies, rats, mosquitoes and slugs.

One Response to “Your Immorality Kills Animals”

  1. gary rith Says:

    Ignorance and hate are not new, but why do they have to keep popping up in every generation, pointing the finger at somebody? People could try smiling and minding their own business, maybe doing some good themselves instead.

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