God Hates….Being Blamed

This is too easy, but I can’t resist. I’m sure you heard the news about the six-story Jesus statue that was destroyed by lightning  Monday night in Ohio.

The pre-lightning Touchdown Jesus

It was known as the Touchdown Jesus because it looked like a referee signaling a football touchdown.  With the World Cup soccer matches going on now, you can conclude that maybe God hates American football, so that’s why we had the lightning strike. No such thing as a random lightning strike, right?

Riiight.

There’s a long tradition of ridiculous people blaming disasters on the actions of humans.  Back in 2001, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson said God allowed the 9/11 terrorist attacks in part becuase of the activities of the ACLU, abortionists, feminists, gays, and the People For the American Way.  Maybe you also didn’t eat your breakfast that morning so It’s All Your Fault.

 Robertson also said the Haiti earthquake in January was due to Haitians’ pact with the devil. Phew!

The latest is this guy in San Diego, James Hartline, who seems to blame all kinds of natural disasters and trouble on gay people and other “sinners”

James Hartline

Iceland just approved same sex marriage, and our breathless Hartline says they did so even though God was warning them with that volcano that erupted there earlier this spring.  (Tip of the hat to the JoeMyGod blog for alerting me to this major news. )

Never mind that the volcano was really simmering down by the time Iceland passed the marriage law. So maybe God had the volcano erupt because Iceland didn’t allow gay marriage, but He shut the volcano off when He realized gay marriage would pass.

Or here’s a radical thought: Maybe the gay marriage law and the volcano were two unrelated things. Nah, too boring.

Flooding in Oklahoma City Monday. Photo by Paul Hellstern of The Oklahoman.

If God’s wrath can be measured in weather disasters, the Lord must really hate      Oklahoma City. I don’t know why. People there seem decent enough. But Oklahoma City had its worst snowstorm on record back in December, tornadoes in May, followed a few days later by a hellatious pelting of baseball sized hail, and perhaps their worst flash flood on record yesterday.

You know what? I think God is too busy to read all the news Web sites to see who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, and then distribute disasters accordingly.  So Hartline should just stuff himself down an Icelandic volcano and be done with it.

3 Responses to “God Hates….Being Blamed”

  1. gary rith Says:

    I know, and God kicked Arkansas ass last week, a place full of evangelicals, and before that God was kicking the piss out of Tennessee.

  2. Fog Says:

    Just three words to sum up the Big Butter Jesus story:

    “He is Resin”

  3. Fog Says:

    “Oh Promise Jesus, Imperial Jesus, Can’t believe it’s not Jesus, Oleo Lord.”

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