N.Y. Lotto to Vermont: Drop Dead

New York Lotto has made it impossible to listen to the radio in western Vermont.

A gag-worthy image from New York Lotto's Sweet Million ad campaign.

For months, they’ve flooded the airwaves with constant ads for their Sweet Million game. The ads probably originated in the Bush administration, when they were torturing Al Qaeda suspects.

News of that torture probably gave  the New York lottery commission some bright ideas.

The advertisements consist of a grandmotherly woman narrating icky, gooey over the stop stories of puppies  saccharinely belting out barber shop quartet songs or kittens mewing out high pitched “I love you” meows.

The sound effects are harder to take than a million fingernails scratching simultaneously along thousands of chalkboards.

The ads come on after almost every song on Burlington area radio stations like KOOL 105 or 99 The Buzz. The Sweet Million pitches cause such a viceral reaction in me that I’d run to the radio to shut it off every time one of the ads started.

Now, I don’t even bother turning on the radio, because I know this dreadful onslaught is coming.

I suppose the ads are of the “If we’re obnoxious they’ll remember us”  school.  But if they cause such a horrible reaction in people like me, will people buy the lotto tickets?

The Sweet Million pitches have induced such a sort of post traumatic stress syndrome in me that the sight of any lottery ticket nowadays makes me sick and nervous, because it brings to mind the Sweet Million torture.

New York Lotto probably is taking a page from some secret CIA torture book. They figure if they subject us to the ads we’ll finally break down totally and scream, “I can’t take it anymore! I’ll give you all my money to buy lotto tickets. Just make it STOP, OH GOD PLEASE!!!!!”

I guess the ads convey the message that winning Sweet Million is sweeter than their ads. But I’d pay a million bucks to make the ads stop.

Which is precisely what New York seems to be counting on. New York has a doozy of a budget problem. The state faces a $10 billion deficit is and the New York legislature can’t get it’s act together to pass a budget, which was due April 1. The state might just shut down.

The solution? Browbeat and torture us into buying New York Sweet Million Lotto tickets. After all, the lottery brought $2.5 billiion into the state in fiscal year 2009, according to the New York lottery office. So if they torment us with those ads, maybe they can shake us down for all the money we’ve got.

The horrible Sweet Million pitches smack of desperation, if you ask me. So New York is desperate. Do you have to ruin our lives too? What, you think misery loves company?

Trust me, it doesn’t.

One Response to “N.Y. Lotto to Vermont: Drop Dead”

  1. thatchick Says:

    Get a sense of humor will ya? Those radio ads are hilarious…and so sweet 🙂

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