Hurricane Matthew

I’m so excited that they’re going to name a hurricane after me.

Would Hurricane Matthew look like this?

Well, not exactly. The list of names they’ve picked for the tropical storms and hurricanes that form in the Atlantic this summer and fall include “Matthew,” which is my name.

Somehow I don’t think whoever names hurricanes had me in mind when they selected the names. But I’ll just pretend they did.

The even better news is they might actually get to the “M’s” during this year’s hurricane season.

Every year, they start with a name that begins with the letter “A” and work their way up through the alphabet until the season ends. The next year, they start over with another “A” name.

Some years, there’s not enough tropical storms and hurricanes to get up to the letter “M”

This year, however, the National Hurricane Center predicts a really busy year, so if the forecast is right, we will have no trouble having a Tropical Storm Matthew or a Hurricane Matthew.

The tricky part is what I want my namesake tropical storm to do. I would somehow feel insulted if it only amounted to a disorganized little tropical depression that just spread a little drizzle on some no-name Caribbean island.

Yet, I don’t want a Hurricane Matthew to turn into some Catagory 5 monster that destroys the entire city of Miami or something and kills a zillion people. People named Katrina are still reeling after the hurricane by that name spread destruction, despair and death across New Orleans and surrounding areas in 2005.  I like to joke around, but I really don’t like seeing people killed, as you might imagine.

So, here’s what I want to happen:  Sometimes in late September, Hurricane Matthew turns into a huge, very frightening, major hurricane off the East Coast and scares the bejeezus out of everyone living from Key West, Florida, to Eastport, Maine. But after snarling and threatening for awhile, I veer harmlessly out to sea, but not before throwing a nice spell of sunny, Indian Summer weather northward into Vermont, where it lingers through the foliage season.

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