Vermont Moose Says Hi

I was driving along Hinesburg Hollow Road in Huntington Monday afternoon when I encountered the moose you see pictured in this post.

Such ungainly animals, but they’re great. You have to be careful, though. They run out into the road and there have been some nasty crashes, some fatal, in Vermont as cars run into moose.

At night, it’s the worst. You can’t see them, because they’re so tall. The headlights only pick up their legs, but you can’t see the legs because they’re nearly the same color as the road.

When you hit a moose, it topples over and tends to crash through the car windshield, explaining the nastiness of the collisions. By contrast, if you hit a deer, you probably will just mess up your front fender.

People say moose are stupid. I say moose make people stupid, judging from a few encounters I’ve had with moose and people.

Once, a moose stood on the edge of a gas station parking lot in Richmond, Vt. It drew a crowd. One mother told her four year old, “Isn’t it cute? Go pet it.”

My draw dropped. This is not a petting zoo. A moose can do a lot of damage to a four-year old. Luckily I, and many others, essentially told the mother she was a nut job and to keep her kid away from the moose.

Maybe we should have told the four year old to stay put and encourage the mom to pet the moose. It would have been a nice Darwin Award, given to stupid people who die in the most stupid manner, thereby cleaning the human gene pool.

Another time, a moose was on somebody’s lawn in Duxbury. Some teenagers approached the moose, yelling at it and throwing rocks, water bottles and sticks.

The woman who owned the house came out, and to get rid of the kids told them they were trespassing and she was calling the cops. The kids responded by yellling at the 60-something woman that she was, a, well, I can’ say it here but it’s awful.

If I was that woman, I would have let the kids do what they were doing on the lawn, and then let the moose stomp the kids to death.

When I lived in Richmond, I used to trail run on the logging roads on the hill behind the house. One spring and summer, I saw a moose on every run, grazing in a small marsh off the trail.

I got so used to her that I named her. She was Marge. I’d almost swear she’d nod her head every time I ran by, as if to say hello.

I wonder if the moose I saw in Huntington was related to Marge?

2 Responses to “Vermont Moose Says Hi”

  1. denis Says:

    those stories are so shocking. you should write a fun — and not-so-funny –book of how people are more stupid than moose. the tourists will love it and buy it in droves.

  2. Jeff Says:

    Matt, I think you’re right….animals bring out the stupid in people. I’ve seen many people go up to rural cows, pigs, horses and try to pet them…..they are not domesticated animals and many not used to humans, esp strange ones. Animals don’t always run away, they’re natural instinct is to protect their territory and their young. Ever try to stop a cow? give it a shot sometime and get back to me. Better yet, try a mother sow…… won’t be getting back to me soon, I guarantee. Love the photos of the moose. Homely but cute.

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