“Pukemon”

Our latest sick, and I do mean sick, media sensation is Matthew Clemmens, aka “Pukemon”

You’ve heard about him by now. He’s the guy who we are told was annoyed when an off-duty cop watching a Phlllies game asked him to knock off the obnoxiousness.

Pukemon, it is alleged, was annoyed that somebody would say he was annoying. So he stuck his fingers down his throat and barfed all over the cop and his 11-year-old daughter, the story goes.

I guess that’s one way to retaliate. Not one I would have come up with, but I guess I’m not that creative.

If Pukemon did what is alleged, it probably seemed to him to be a great idea at the time. Of course now everybody is talking about him, and that unfortunate mug shot of him is all over the Net, including, as you can see, on this here post.

Not a terribly flattering photo of the guy, if you ask me.

Pukemon has not been making himself available for media interviews, which frankly is no way for a celebrity to act. I guess he likes his privacy.

If anybody does anything noteworthy, it spreads around the world faster than ever before, riding on a wave of breathless news Web sites and amused bloggers. People on the most remote corners of the planet have already heard of Pukemon. I wonder what this guy thinks about his new status as a national sensation?

Is he mortified? Proud?  When people gain the kind of notoriety as this guy, we never do find out how they feel about their new fame. I wonder what his friends think? Are they supportive? Running away from him, fearing new explosions?

This guy could end up spewing more stuff than that volcano in Iceland, which is still gumming up European air travel as it belches ash into the air. Thank goodness volcanoes don’t drink too much beer and puke. That would be a lot of vomit to deal with. Luckily, ash probably doesn’t smell as bad as puke and I’m sure it  is easier to clean up.

In any event, we all do dumb things, so it must be pretty embarrasing to have our dumb things become  a national focus. Especially if they are as dumb as this guy’s alleged actions, which really take stupidity to a whole new level.

Pukemon’s uncle says it isn’t like it was reported. The uncle says that the kid had a few two many beers, got sick, tried to cover his mouth, but that had the effect of spraying his, uh, compost, in all direction.

Witnesses said no, Pukemon did this on purpose. The dspute will surely be sorted out in court.

One warning: If this guy tries to capitalize monetarily on his famous puke, I’ll be the one who will end up hurling.

But at least I won’t get sick near any cops or 11 year old girls.

One Response to ““Pukemon””

  1. An Update on Pukemon « Matt-of-all-trades Blog Says:

    […] Update on Pukemon By mattalltrades In April, I told you about Pukemon, the moron who intentionally barfed on some nearby fans as revenge against said fans at an April Philadelphia Phillies game.  The victims  objected to […]

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