Lerning Tew Ryte

I’m one of those horrible people that pick out grammar and spelling mistakes on signs and in publications and whine about it. As if it’s the most important thing in the world.

What set me off this morning was this sentence on a sign in my gym: “Murphy work’s out seventeen hour’s a week.”

Never mind that Murphy is probably a nut case for working out 17 hours a week. But what is with the apostrophes. Work’s what? Hour’s what?  From where did this apostrophe surplus come? Can we export them to some needy foreign language?

My nitpicky diatribe masks the fact that I’m completely capable of grammar and spelling mistakes. At the Burlington Free Press, where I work, I’ve almost told our readers that an accident victim was taken to the hospital by the Essex Rescue Squid. The victim had been found unconscious on the gourd, near the town of Derby Loin.

I’ve also noted  U.S. Senator Patrick Lengthy is chairman of the Judiciary Committee

Well, he is tall.

And come to think of it, wouldn’t an eight-armed squid be really efficient in treating a complicated trauma case? It could do so many things at once: Control the bleeding, measure the pulse, administer medication. I think the Essex Rescue Squad must immediately hire some squid.

This morning, I passed by a printing company which shall remain nameless. The sign prominently displayed on the window told us they were offering a special on “wedding invatations.”

I’m sure the wedding will be quite a “partie”

Then there are all these protest marchers all over the country, denouncing “socalism” and wanting to preserve the English “langage”   If you’re going to be part of a successful political movement, people, learn how to spell.

Maybe I’ll join a protest march demanding the government, the president, somebody, make us write correctly.

6 Responses to “Lerning Tew Ryte”

  1. Denis Says:

    i’m not the best speller in the world but i would make sure my poster would be spelled correctly.

  2. Jeff Says:

    ditto here, but at least I know where to find the spell check button

  3. Fog Says:

    Matt, we must not forget the Morans : )


  4. Fog Says:

    More Morans ! !



  5. Fog Says:

    It doesn’t end !


  6. mattalltrades Says:

    Fog: Maybe there should be sitcom, “The Moran” about particularly stupid people. A family who hates “pubic” options, maybe

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