Dandelion Wars

As I do the spring cleaning in client’s gardens, the most vexing problem is dandelions. They are Gods weapons of mass destruction, spreading their bitter ugly leaves through otherwise perfect gardens.

They proliferate like a cold virus in a crowded room with sneezing, sniffling toddler crawling around.

You just can’t kill them. The dandelions I mean,  not the sneezing sniffling kids.

Spring is early this year, so dandelions made an early appearance. They are thriving.

You can try chemical warfare against dandelions, but I don’t like that approach. I just don’t trust the chemicals in weed killers in products like Roundup. My adage is, if I can’t pronounce the ingredients, the product is probably scary.

Isopropylamine salt of glyphosate? Polythoxylated tallowamine?  If you say these words out loud, you sound like a drunk with a mouth full of marbles. I have no idea is the substances are safe or not, but they are probably from another planet, so watch out.

I’ve been painstakingly pulling the dandelions up.  I dig deep around them with  shovel, loosen them and yank. That sets them back but doesn’t kill them. I inevitably leave a bit of dandelion taproot in the soil, so they will be back, growing back up through the soil like some sort of Lazarus monsters. Has anyone ever made a horror movie about dandelions? Call it “The Yellow Thing From the Deep.”

And deep they are. One dandelion I dug up this weekend had a taproot that extended 13 inches downward. Heck some trees roots don’t go that far down.

I’m going to experiment a bit. I found a natural dandelion killer they say works. It’s a mix of white vinegar, table salt and dish detergent. You’ve got to cook up the mixture of vinegar and salt on the stove first, so when I put this together, it’s going to feel like I’ve got a meth lab operation in my kitchen. That’s the price you pay to rub out demon dandelions.

You can’t spray the vinegar mixture willy nilly in the garden because it kills everything, supposedly. But I will experiment with this stuff and report back on whether it indeed murders dandelions.

Or, maybe the dandelions will murder me.

One Response to “Dandelion Wars”

  1. Denis Says:

    who knew there was a safe and easy recipe to kill dandelions. cool. i hope it works!

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