Random News Today

I don’t have a grand theme to discuss today, so I just surfed the news sites to see what the Important Issues of the Day are. I found several:

The Burlington (Vermont) Free Press ran an Associated Press piece on a guy who was driving himself to jail to serve some time for drunken driving. He drove drunk to jail.

Well, who can blame him?  There are no bars in prison. Well, actually, there are, but none you can drink at.

Some teachers in a rural Wisconsin county might be in legal trouble, too. No, they haven’t been drinking, but the local D.A. will probably drive them to do so. The state has some new sex education laws, and the rather conservative, and squeamish D.A. Scott Southworth (that’s him looking squeamish in the pic, told ya)  says that if the teachers describe to the students how to use contraceptives, that means they will be arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Apparently, Southworth fears that the kids will take what they’ve learned in class, and try it at home with their little friends.

In a related development, teachers elsewhere will be charged with assault for describing past wars in history classes. Prosecutors say that if children read about wars, they might try it at home, and declare war on their parents and neighbors. And if any of these kids get their hands on nuclear warheads, it could get a little messy.

Happier news comes out of Maine, where a teenager survived being gored and stomped on by a bull. Television station WMTW reports the bull has since been killed and the teen is expected to be released from the hospital today.

The teen says he’s looking forward to dining on part of the bull soon.  Revenge is sweet, isn’t it?

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