Vermont’s GOP Liquid Assets

The Republican National Committee, which recently got in trouble for spending almost $2,0000 on a bondage strip club in California, has another interesting expenditure, this time in Vermont.

Seems they went to the Boyden Valley Winery in Cambridge, Vermont and bought $982 in “office supplies,” according to filings with the Federal Election Commission.

I’ve been to Boyden Valley Winery. It’s a really nice place in a picturesque valley. They have a wonderful selection of fine wines, and they specialize in excellent ice wines. The winery is definitely worth the trip.

But frankly, Boyden Valley has a very disappointing selection of office supplies. No paper, no toner cartridges, no mouse pads, nothing like that.  I suppose I could have borrowed a pencil from the sales clerk, but she was busy using it to take a phone message when I was there, so that wouldn’t have worked either.

Of course, the RNC probably didn’t mean “office supplies” literally. The Republicans have proven themselves the party hearty party, so I get what they meant.

You had a bad day at work. The boss is screaming down your neck. The Democrats have passed health care reform. President Obama still shows no signs of proving himself as the antichrist.

What’s a pressured Republican operative to do? Go into the office supply cabinet, pull out a bottle of Boyden Valley wine, and have a good swig. It will make everything fine, and the office will run smoothly again. See? office supplies.

Maybe I should take a page from the RNC’s songbook when I do my taxes. I drink a fair amount of Long Trail Ale. I should find those Lake Street Beverage receipts and go to town.

Example: Feb. 18: The roads were slippery as I went to a work-related meeting. Made me tense. So I got home and drank two bottles of Long Trail. That calmed me down and made me ready and raring to go to work the next day. So the Long Trail was a business expense, right?

Look, I can’t do any better than that.  We don’t have bondage strip clubs in Vermont.

4 Responses to “Vermont’s GOP Liquid Assets”

  1. Denis Says:

    if boyden valley winery added a bondage club on their premises, the RNC would probably hold their convention there.

  2. Jay Vos Says:

    Hilarious. My comic relief for the day.

  3. mattalltrades Says:

    LOVE your idea, Denis. I’ll call the RNC, you call the winery, and we will arrange to make it happen. You are brilliant!

  4. Jeff Says:

    Denis, that’s brilliant….that opens the door to so many political agendas…….now we can get rolling

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