Time For a Rant

Does anybody really know what time it is?

I sure don’t since it has apparently become impossible to buy a basic, working wrist watch.

Apparently, wrist watches are passe to begin with. We’re all supposed to glance at our i-Phones and cell phones to find out what time it is. But when I’m busy, with my hands full, I don’ t want to rummage around so I can squint at some dumb piece of electronics. Why get rid of the ease of glancing at the time on your wrist?

My watch broke more than a month ago. I naively thought it would be a simple matter of going to some drug store and buying some cheapo watch. Riiiiight.

I checked around St. Albans. They had a few watches with all this fake gold flourishes and pieces. They looked like K-Mart knockoffs of something Liberace would have worn. No thanks.

Down to Colchester I went. Those stores are following the trend that dictates the clapse that holds the watch on your wrist takes the smarts of an IBM engineer and the steadiness of a neurosurgeon to work. By the time I get those watches on my wrist, it would be the end of the day and time to take the watch off again.

Other stores insist that watches do everything except tell time. They have all these knobs and gadgets that tell you the the exchange rate of Kazakhstani  currency, the current barometric pressure in Ulan Bator, Mongolia and the  average price of goat meat in Losotho.  They also buzz and beep, startling from your torpor by announcing at this very minute, Paris Hilton’s alarm clock is going off. But if you want to know the current time, these watches do not help. 

Sports watches are just as bad. These blasted things show your current resting heart rate and blood pressure, your entire medical history, the medical histories of 1,000 of your closest friends, and a complete encyclopedia of Centers for Disease Control health statistics, but alas, not what time it is.

I finally found a watch at a Rite-Aid in Burlington that worked. Simple. Easy to use. Inexpensive. An OK design. Which was great, except the watch functioned for all of three minutes. So I exchanged it for another one. That one worked for about an hour. A third try yielded a watch that expired after a whopping three hours.

 So I’ll just have to remain timeless. If you tell me to meet you at 6 p.m., I’ll have to guess. See at 4. Or 8. Or something.

One Response to “Time For a Rant”

  1. mattalltrades Says:

    Friend of mine emailed me, but I think her comments belong in the comment section of this post. So here goes:

    “Sooooooo true! And it’s not just watches anymore. Try finding a refrigerator without automatic ice makers, water spigots, humidity controlled veggie drawers with separate temp controls. It was hard for us to find a simple fridge! If the ice man still came by on his wagon, I’d prefer an an old “ice box”. Ah, the days of yore….

    A friend couldn’t even find a truck without electric windows (she’s afraid of them -long story). In fact, I don’t think you can buy a vehicle without bells & whistles that you don’t need or want. I never even use some of the stuff my car has.

    Even Carhartt’s can be confusing! Yesterday, I finally bought myself some for work. There’s dungaree fit, relaxed fit, “this fit” and “that fit.” I just wanted some that fit, and not have to try on several sizes in several styles just for a pair of pants. I hate stores as it is and hate being in them. “

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