Out of My Way!

I am exactly the wrong person to be driving around Vermont.

I have ADHD, so I’m a hyper, hyper, have to get going, zoom down the Interstate and get home right now kind of guy.

Most of the rest of the Vermonters around me on the road are so laid back they are probably in a coma.

So I go absolutely insane when everybody else moves so slooowly, oblivious to the rest of the world. They sit still at intersections,  thinking long and hard and deep about what that green arrow on the traffic signal really means.

Maybe the problem is the arrows signal people to turn right, and Vermont is so liberal people can only turn left? Just a theory.

I lose it when people  halt at a stop sign, then sit and wait, hoping the sign turns green so they can go.   That it ain’t going to happen does not seem to concern these people.

You’d think a green light on a traffic signal would be a simple enough concept. It turns green, you go. But many people insist on factoring so many other issues. They sit and ponder. Is the light green enough? Does it symbolize environmentalism? Is going forward the right thing to do? Should I sit here in solidarity with the maligned, discriminated-against red light? Maybe I should just leave the car here and walk. Perhaps  if I wait long enough, the light will turn an even prettier shade of green.


You’d think it would be clear sailing if by some miracle I make it to Interstate 89 to make my way home from work. You’d be mistaken.

Traditionally, the right lane is for slower traffic, the left are for people in a hurry. Not in Vermont. There they are, crawling along the left lane at  a pace so slow granny strolling in her walker could pass them. They left lane crawlers sit behind the wheel, mouth agape, their eyes a blank stare.  A bomb going off in their passenger seat wouldn’t rouse them from their trance.  The long line of cars flashing their lights behind them are summarily ignored.

People in other places say they have the worst drivers. The Massachusetts maniacs. The New Jersey Turnpike nutcases. But if you combine a handful of “normal” drivers, transplants from the hectic cities, and the lost, slow souls of Vermont,  the Green Mountain State wins the title as the most exasperating place in the world to drive.

2 Responses to “Out of My Way!”

  1. Connie Godin Says:


  2. velkrosmaak Says:

    Haha, I can absolutely relate to this post, and just posted something similar on my blog, Slightly Right Wing [slightlyrightwing.wordpress.com]

    What’s with people that don’t immediately GO when the traffic light turns green. Daamn.

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