Sick of Tiger’s Wood

OK Tiger, go away.

The world stopped Friday so Tiger Woods could tell us all that he’s a horny jerk. We get it. Why are we giving him all this attention?

Yeah, he’s a celebrity, a big sports star. So his actions are a legitimate news story, given how this is going to affect his fans, his commercial backers, his career, etc.

But I don’t understand why the networks cut into their programming Friday so he could give his tedious little speech to the nation. Like it was the most momentous event in history. I almost wonder if the networks would have given less attention had President Obama announced he was launching nuclear strikes on Canada.

Nothing else was going on in the world Friday? I thought there was still a war in Afghanistan. Is the economy still wobbly? Heck, I even heard a rumor there’s a winter sports competition of some kind in Vancouver, British Columbia involving athletes from all over the world.

God knows we need comic relief from all the heavy stuff going on in the news, and I suppose Tiger helped us out there.

There was one very good article I came across about this whole mess. Leave it to The Onion to set us straight on what’s really going on. (Warning, little kids and the sensitive probably shouldn’t read the article.)

According to The Onion, Tiger is announcing a return to sex.

Phew! Now the world can start turning again.

2 Responses to “Sick of Tiger’s Wood”

  1. Jeff Says:

    leave it to the ONION and Matt to bring some perspective to the whole world. BTW since when did infidelity and immorality become justified as a disease. In my day that was part of your moral fiber. Oh, well, times have changed.

  2. kim Says:

    Lindsey Vonn had some snarky comments about his news conference. I think NPR had said that now the sponsors don’t want to get tied into long term contracts with pro athletes now b/c of tiger’s adventures. I’m sure it didn’t go down well with Vonn or any of the athletes in Vancouver hoping for big juicy endorsements.

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