Hey Stupid!

A couple weeks ago, I went off on a rant, saying I couldn’t believe we actually need a law forbidding people from texting while driving. You’d think it would be obvious.

Digging deeper, I’ve found all kinds of warning labels telling people the obvious. Like the sign posted in the picture to the right.

Here’s another list, possibly apocryphal, full of really stupid warnings. People are warned not to eat toner cartridges, a package of dice and a new mattresses.  You mean somebody has actually been tempted to eat this stuff?

So what happens if I’m in bed in the middle of the night and wake up hungry. If I’m too tired to go to the kitchen for a snack, I start munching on the mattress instead?

Other warnings include a suggested to avoid using a toilet brush orally. I don’t know exactly what that means and I REALLY don’t want to know. 

Another warning tells people not to put lit candles on cellular phones.  And we’re told not to use a disposable razor during an earthquake. I wonder if there has ever been an earthquake where someone, instead of fleeing a shaking building in panic,  just continues with his morning shave?

If any of these warnings have actually appeared on these products,  I wonder what the motivation was for putting them there.  Maybe somebody with an absurd sense of humor decided to add the warning? Overzealous lawyers heard rumors of such stupid misuses of products? Or people have actually eaten mattresses?

We’ve all done dumb things with consumer products. Once, I accidentally sprayed deodorant instead of Pam cooking spray into a pan. Don’t ask, but I caught the mistake before I cooked or ate anything.

But still.  Let’s ponder the necessity of putting the words “could contain nuts” on a package of peanuts. 

In the meantime, I offer you this warning, just to be on the safe side: Do not try to smash the screen of your computer so that you can reach in and grab  the words I’ve typed here.

One Response to “Hey Stupid!”

  1. Jeff Says:

    as my 86 year old mother often says…..”so people are too stupid to be alive!!”

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